Once Upon a Law Firm
by Kayakokitty
Summary: Sai works at a law firm. yea he would be a lawyer wouldn't he? it's a narutoxbleach clash. saixulqiorra. boyxboy. oh yea im breaking all your morals and there's nothing you can do about it!


Once Upon A Law Firm

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any related characters. Chances are if you recognize it then it's not really mine.**_

"Are you sure you understand Sai?" my boss said. She was a blond who favored pigtails and had the biggest rack I've ever seen.

"I understand for the millionth time already Tsunade! There's only so many times you can tell me!" I manage to whine out as we make our way downstairs.

"fine." she bites out. "Now his name is Ulqiorra and he's suppose to be a very respected lawyer so be polite, be optimistic, and don't sexually harass him!"

"Really it hurts me to think you would believe i am capable of such things!" I say. But yea I usually exercise my capability quite often but never on someone so new! As we get to the main office my team mates arrived. They were (and this is a list of how useful they were to me) Sakura Haruno: she was a total bimbo and was really only here for Sasuke but she was very smart. Sasuke Uchiha: he was a real jerk and had some weird habits like coming to work just to be an emo jerk but he got the job done with his superiority complex. Naruto Uzumaki: well basically an idiot who had had his brain shook to many times, but the way he was so passionate about the cases really won over the jury. Not to mention with his golden locks and bright blue eyes he wasn't to bad to look at. And that was everyone unless you include the new guy no one knew and I didn't.

We waited a good half hour before one of the secretaries showed up. "Um....? The new lawyer is here and I postponed your next meeting an hour."

"Good now send him in" Tsunade said with her 'I'm really just pretending to be nice' persona

The girl sent in someone who was dressed in a suit. I hated suits and only wore them on court days but for some reason this just seemed natural.

The man was very pale but not just white like me but more of an otherworldly look to him, he had dark hair and eyes that reminded me of sparkling sea water.

Wait? Sparkling sea water? Since when was I so poetic?

But what was very curious was the 2 lines traced down his cheeks one on each side. They were blue and looked oddly like tear tracks. How weird. Oh well not my problem. As long as this guy didn't give me any shit I was good.

"This is your new partner Ulqiorra I hope you can get along, now if you'll excuse me I have some things to do. Why don't you take lunch and get to know each other" Tsunade said as she beat a hasty retreat out the door.

"Hi I'm Haruno Sakura it's a pleasure to meet you!" Sakura chimed as she got up to shake his hand. Sasuke just sat there being very rude by taking out his lunch and starting without us.

"Yea what's up man I'm Naruto" He really just called from his seat not bothering to get up.

I stood to shake his hand and introduce myself when there was a loud crash from outside the office. Sakura and I just stood there. Hell we didn't know what it was. As we rushed out to see so did Ulqiorra who wound up right behind me because I was so childish I couldn't let him go first.

I felt his hand on my shoulder leaning forward to see out the door way. It was an intern who had knocked down the coffee machine. There was coffee everywhere. The girl that did it was really panicking she just stood there. "Well don't just stand there like a sorry last week shit pile! Clean it up!"

Sakura quickly rushed forward to get some towels; Ulqiorra went to comfort the now crying intern. Whoa who would have thought that he would care bout a sorry intern? I turned around and headed back into the office. I sat next to Naruto and we started our lunch while waiting on the happy duo to return.

"Well at least we got it all up" Sakura smiled. She sat down next to Sasuke and leaned closer to him leaning forward just slightly. I have told her a thousand times that he was gay and was in a relationship with Naruto but she refuses to believe it. I mean why else would I demand to move out and get my own apartment. We live in the company dorm.

"Yes I'm glad we could help her." Casper said. He sat next to me like he knew me. After a few minutes of sitting here I realized that Ulqiorra didn't have any food with him.

"Did you forget your lunch Ulqiorra-san?" Sakura asked.

"No I just ate on the plane so I'm fine" he assured her.

Ignoring them I decided to talk to Naruto, I always felt smart whenever I did. "So Naruto-kun would you like to go to the club with me tonight?"

"Oh I'm sorry Sai but I cant tonight! I'm going with Sasuke to see a movie." Naruto gave me that puppy dog look.

I sighed. "Fine how about you Sakura?"

"Sorry but Tsunade and I are going to a major case and its mandatory so I can't" she whined like she was sorry, but I know she was delighted to have been chosen to go. We sat in silence for a few very awkward seconds until Naruto started to make swiping movements in the air. "Naruto what are you doing?"

"I'm cutting the tension like a knife" he said in a monotone. As we sat there staring at him I was the first to start laughing. Naruto and I laughed so hard and all Sasuke and Sakura did was roll their eyes.

"Hey Sai why don't you take Ulqiorra to your club? You could get to know each other." Sakura chirped happily.

"What!? But I don't even know him that well! Anyway he wouldn't want to go there!"

"And why wouldn't he?"

"Because he's not gay!"

Everything got so quiet I had to fight back a hysterical laughter. Ulqiorra looked at me with a look that said 'How the hell do you know'. "Ya' know that was probably not the best way to word that." I said it like a little kid in trouble. Kinda like a kid that said 'aw shit mom you just broke my foot'.

Ulqiorra stared at me for a moment before actually saying anything. "Actually I think I will go to that club with you" after he aid this he got up and walked out.

We watched him go in dead silence. "Wow Sai I think you really pissed him off." Sakura laid out.

"Yea but its not like he tries to keep everyone in a good mood" Sasuke added.

"That is true but we don't expect him to be nice right?" Naruto tossed in.

"Oh fuck you guys! Stupid dick sucking lawyers!" As I stormed out I heard Sasuke call out "Yea we love you to!"

_Kayako: hey guys its me!!! Its so nice to be here ruining yet another hot yaoi guys life! Want more? Then let me know and review!!!!_


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